Some People Knit the Most Fucked Up Shit

Since I’ve joined Ravelry (totally late in the game), I’ve been browsing patterns and I’ve found some pretty crazy shit.  And some pretty ingenious shit too.  Now, I don’t want to rain on anyone’s creativity parade, but sometimes I just have to say “Really?” and “What the fuck?”

For instance, while browsing, I came across a knitted jock strap.  Actually 2 knitted jock strap patterns, one for sale and one for free.  And a crocheted version, too.  Seriously?  I mean, I love My Guy to pieces, but I really wouldn’t want his junk resting in the beautiful mohair, wool, what-have-you, I just spent $15+ on.  For that matter, I wouldn’t even want his balls in the Peaches ‘N Cream cotton stuff I spent $2 on.  Topped with the fact that I’d have to hand wash this funky smelling thing?  No thanks.

I also found a penis cozy.  What the hell?  Please see above rant.

How about a knitted digestive system?  Really?  Why?  What reason do you have to knit such a thing?

Okay, now can we move to toilet paper cozies?  Seriously?  I’ve seen tp cozies shaped like a cactus, a Barbie toilet, and even Bender, that robot guy from Futurama.  I don’t know about you, but I just stick my spare rolls in a cabinet.  But that’s just me.  I also found a cozy knitted to look like a sushi roll.  Cute, but I wouldn’t knit that shit either.

One thing I did find during my meanderings on Ravelry is a knitted buddha.  It’s pretty awesome, but then again, I’m into that sort of thing.  At this very moment, someone could be blogging about how you’d have to be crazy as shit to knit it.  Maybe I am.


NOTE TO READERS: To those of you who’ve knitted or designed one of the aforementioned items, you must have had a pretty good reason, one that’s just beyond my comprehension.  These are just my opinions, not the laws of the knitting gods, so please, no hate mail.  Although, if you do proceed to post something hateful, I do hope it’s entertaining.

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